I have an overwhelming love for humanity-for people as a whole.
Yet, I can only stand to be close friends with a few.
I try not to judge the situations of others.
I try not to group people into boxes while I
am also defining people under arbitrary headlines.
I can not attempt to see individuals without judgment if I continue to see the doings of few as an accurate representation of many.
White people do not suck.
Although white privilege is real, not all white people are bad. I am not saying this as a message to others but as an affirmation for myself. I have white guilt and am shamed, embarrassed, perplexed, hurt, rejected, and all kinds of mixed up over it....
I read history books and I hate the despicable actions that are committed by white people. How they have taken over the world and disenfranchised and bastardized and tortured people in all corners of the globe. For what? Power? White American guilt has run rampant within my body. I do not know what to make of myself. I hold white (mostly American) people out in front of me as this group of heinous colonizers, but when in fact I am part of that group. But I do not see me as that. Feeling the blood running through my veins and the soul resonating in my gut, I want to believe that I would not have been able to commit such horrid crimes; I would have helped free slaves! I would have marched in the Civil Rights movement! I would have been against conquering lands and setting up shop in the East! But, in reality, would I? Do I only say these things because I know the history and am fortunate enough to live in a day and age that does not have such blatant racial conflict?
I have so many questions and so few answers. I am not sure exactly where to start on my road to acceptance and understanding of my place in it all. I am just going to follow my gut.
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